1. (In case the title doesn’t give this one away…) It doesn’t autocorrect all the words that you type. So you can write (and swear) in any language, slang or grammar you like and there aint no phone gonna tell you that what you meant to say was “tucker.” Come to think of it…the iPhone is a severe infringement upon the freedom of speech. I wanna say it like I wanna say it DAWG. And no, I did not mean dawn. TUCKER!
2. I love that you can’t press anything by accident. Like you can scroll around and all…but to actually choose something, you have to consciously, purposefully and boldly—get it?, click on a button. You don’t have to constantly gauge the pressure of your fingertips and worry whether they will be interpreted as a drag, scroll, enlarge, or TAP! The iPhone just doesn’t get that…like you know…the difference between “ex-boyfriend” and “mom.” I’m trying to call mom damnit. Mom! Stop dialing…stop dialing…yes, I’m pressing the “end call” button, not caressing it, STOP DIALLLLLLLLING!
3. I lovelovelove that the messages you receive don’t pop up under a giant name in bold on the main screen. Instead – it’s a discreet little red star. Red star could mean…it’s mom wondering if you put socks on this morning…red star could be your boyfriend wondering if you still want to watch Inception tonight (erm, no)…red star could mean “the wife’s gone, come over.” The iPhone just doesn’t understand that there’s some information that needs to stay tucked away in the little black book. Blackberry, smartberry. Goooood wiiiitttlllle bewwwy...
4. Just the word is so much sexier. Blackberry. Buh-lack-be-rry. It sounds like it could be the caption to picture no. 76 of the kamasutra. Or perhaps as code for something naughty—like, hey the kids are busy playing, should we go blackberry in the next room? It sounds like something someone could potentially lick off of…anyway, you get the point. The word is sexy, its sensual, its interesting. It rolls off the tongue in all sorts of arousing and slippery ways. iPhone on the other hand? Blah. What kind of word is that? It sounds like…drone…loan…moan…BooooooorinG! iMOAN indeed. And not in the good way.
5. And on the topic of what it calls itself. Isn’t the whole i-thing a bit egotistical? Psshhh…the blackberry is so cool it doesn’t even need to make reference to itself. (I’m sure a good yo-mama joke could be made out of this…but its not coming to me…something like, yo mama’s so embarrassed to be yo mama she calls herself iMAMA. No never mind, moving on...)
6. Actually I think I prefer the Blackberry because it’s like a man. There’s no better way to explain it. The iPhone is a woman…its like all pretty and made-up and stuff, but its also temperamental…sometimes you open an application, are about to read some exciting notification someone posted on your Facebook wall…and whoop! The application is closed. Sorry…I’m moody. Not happening right now. The blackberry is steady. It’s like…you want Facebook? I’ll give you Facebook. Just push my button. And play with it as long as you like…
No comments:
Post a Comment